


The Kingdom of Kupa Keep

by LunaMisakey



Category: South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe - Medieval, BoyxBoy, Castles, Curses, Dragons, F/M, Fluff, Love, Love Triangle, M/M, Magic, Maids, Medieval, Medieval AU, Princesses, Romance, Royalty, Servants, Smut, The Stick of Truth, Unrequited Love, Wizards, Yaoi, blacksmiths, boyslove, mythical creatures, spells, thieves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2019-08-02 17:47:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16309814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaMisakey/pseuds/LunaMisakey
Summary: Long ago in the far South, where snow tipped the tops of mountains and the water rarely flowed freely was a kingdom nestled amongst a snowy white plane and trees as far as the eye could see.''Twas the South Parken Kingdom, wherein Kupa Keep castle lay.This, ladies and gentlemen, is where our story begins.





	1. Chapter 1

Kupa Keep was considered quite a fine kingdom, rich in wealth in every way - from fertile lands to the shining treasures lying beneath said soil. And such land was ruled over by a lovely... Er, 'princess' I suppose whom ruled with the governing of a cynical fat wizard that was not the best regarding basic hygiene or etiquette. Still, the princess had been given the right to rule only if said wizard was beside them, so needs must I guess.  
The princess had been regarded as kind and lovely to creatures great and small, with effortless grace and poise in any situation she was placed in. It was with little wonder that many princes from faraway countries had begged for a private audience alone with her, but alas, she was a strong willed woman at her core and she had refused to engage in a private audience with just anyone - even going as far as to keep her face covered up at all times to prevent any unwanted wanton gazes directed at her.  
This strong will had irked the grand wizard greatly and he had demanded she be wed by the age of sixteen or face losing her throne. He wanted her wed and tamed by a husband already.

Alas, there were far better things to worry about- for there was a war brewing with the Drow Elves of the West.  
And the princess had yet to open her eyes to the dark underbelly of her own kingdom.  
In a world of wizards, elves, dragons and monsters, what could possibly go wrong?


	2. Chapter 2

This was by far the worst humiliation.

Grand masterpieces, advanced technology, horses and livestock, steal away! We'll even turn around and act like it's not happening for you!

But an apple? Fuck no, you'd best be prepared to hang for it!

Sarcasm was a word quickly being associated with Feldspar, the thief with a silver tongue. But one too many high risk missions had made him become rather lazy when it came to regular stealing- which landed him in the predicament he finds himself in now. Bound, in chains, kneeling by force in front of the grand wizard, Eric Cartman.

"Well look what the plague dragged in." He chirped in pure mirth. "Feldspar the thief, is today my lucky day?" The wizard wriggled out of his chair awkwardly before standing, straightening himself and waltzing around the bound Male quite lazily. "The bounty set on your head was quite high my friend. And I'm quite annoyed that I have to honour that bounty." He said before bending down slowly so he could look at the males face properly. "Caught stealing an apple... what an embarrassment to your reputation." He tutted lightly.

Feldspar simply rolled his eyes before glaring at the Male. "At least I can sit in a chair without half of my behind falling out of it." He returned.

"You dare insult me?!" The wizard bellowed. "I should curse you!"

"Please do. Hopefully it's a curse wherein I don't have to listen to your voice anymore." He returned flatly.

Eric growled lowly before narrowing his eyes. "Do you want another chance at being alive or would you rather I burn you here and now?"

The thief paused at that.

“Oh you heard right." Eric continued. "See, I know that there’s a place that holds something I desire. But I have no guards competent enough to sneak in without detection."

Feldspar slowly raised his head before before glancing up to him. "Where. What. And what's in it for me?"

"Outland territory, just a humble stick and your life."

Feldspar rose an eyebrow at him. "A stick?" He repeated dubiously. "It must be awful important if you can't just get one off the ground."

"That's all the detail I'll give you verbally and I'd think you'd be kind enough as to not insult the man offering you a chance to live." He snarled impatiently. "You bring the stick to me and you get your freedom."

Feldspar rose an eyebrow in doubt at the man. "How can I trust your words, grand wizard?" He challenged.

"I promise I won't harm a single hair on your head." He promised with a cat like smile.

Feldspar hated seeing that expression on his face, but his hands were tied, literally. "Alright. Give me the details."

The wizard smiled before flicking his hand and waving away all but two guards, from the room. It seemed an important topic indeed.

"You're gonna have to sharpen up those skills of yours Feldspar, because the place I want you to retrieve the stick from is deep in the barbarian territory."

  
"Barbarians still exist? I thought they were wiped out in the last cleanse war." Feldspar had to contain his surprise.

The wizard sighed. "I thought so too, but last time troops were sent out into the forest to survey the land in order to enlarge the kingdom, only one came back out of a whole battalion."

Feldspar's eyes widened at the information. "They're that vicious?"

"Well they are barbarians." He returned bluntly. "According to the lone survivor they are cannibals too. He saw one of them rip out a man's heart and feast on it while it was still beating."

Feldspar tried to hide his grimace. He'd definitely better not get caught.

"There's no maps and we don't know the lay of the land, so the odds are stacked against you."

"It'd probably be best if I go at night then." He decided before glancing to the wizard. "The dark of night will cover me and there'll be less people to watch out for."

"You're the thief." The wizard shrugged before pausing. "Ah yes, one last thing..." He trailed off and smirked as a green mist began to cover his right hand. He reached forward and grabbed at Feldspar's neck.

As soon as his hand made contact with Feldspar’s skin an intense burning sensation came over him. He screamed and tried to get away but that only tightened the wizards grip. It felt like his flesh was melting and dissolving away, down to the muscle, down to the windpipe, down to his bones. Every inch of him hurt.

"That should do it." The wizard chirped and pulled away with a smirk. "You belong to me now. Any disobedience or even thinking of trying to run away and I can easily end your life."

"What did you...?" Feldspar growled and coughed at the delicate feeling surrounding his neck.

"I cursed you." The wizard said dismissively. "Look in a mirror and you'll see my marking on your neck."

"Damn you..."

"Don't like it?" He leaned down and lifted Feldspar’s chin lightly. "Then get me that stick."

 

True to his word, the wizard let him go and removed the current bounty on his head, letting him prepare for the night and his mission.

Feldspar glanced in an old shop window for a moment and pulled down his hood in order to see an ugly brand like mark staring back at him. It was throbbing and swollen still, looking like the petals of a disturbing red flower splayed out across his skin. "Damn that wizard..." He cursed and looked away. He needed some fun, some release. It may be his last day of living after all.

He glanced upon the shady backstreets of the kingdom and walked to the whore house.  
It wasn't often Feldspar came to this place. The women smelt awful with the scent of overwhelming perfume and were always garishly dressed. But it had been some time since he'd been with someone, and he was a man.

He opened the door to the old building and immediately had to dodge a flying piece of negligee.

"I love you all my darling concubines!" A familiar voice cheered in excitement.  
"Oh Clydesdale you shameless man!"  A woman flirted back with a shine in her eyes.

Feldspar sighed. There went his plans for tonight.

The man seemingly known as Clydesdale was a well defined Male with brown hair and similar coloured eyes that was casually sitting on a long bench, arms outstretched around two whores that were eagerly trying to convince the man upstairs.

He praised the women some more before noticing the Male that had just walked in. "Feldspar? You old dog! Where have you been?" He laughed as he immediately stood, wenches forgotten for the moment as he swung an arm over the darker haired Male.

"Trying to avoid you." Feldspar deadpanned, but there was no real bite to his words.  
"Wah! So meannnn~!" Clydesdale wailed childishly as he pulled Feldspar closer into a hug. "Why the sharp tongue, old friend?" He pouted up at him.

Clydesdale was indeed someone Feldspar would consider a more trustworthy man than others. The pair had grown up together after all. Although unlike himself, Clydesdale was managing to make a more honourable living for himself as a trainee blacksmith. Hence his more stocky build.

Feldspar sighed. "I thought you were warned to stay away from this place by the keeper."

Clydesdale paused at the change of subject before pouting and leaning away. "Aye, he did." He mumbled bitterly. "But how could I as a man leave such stunning beauties be?"

Feldspar sighed. There was the man he knew. Not exactly what you'd call a philanderer, but rather a hopeless romantic who looked in the wrong places.

"Besides which," Clydesdale cleared his throat and a sly grin worked his way up his face. "What brings you here? You rarely come to the whore house."

Feldspar paused before sighing. "None of your business. Can't a man relieve his desires every now and then? I might not be as active as you are friend, but I do have desires on occasion."

Clydesdale laughed and apologised with a wave of his hand. "Apologies, I thought you'd come here because you heard of the new servant here. I know your curiosity after all."

Feldspar paused. "New servant? Why would that be of any interest?"

Clydesdale paused. "You don't know?" His eyes shone childishly as he glanced around and leaned forward to whisper to him. "It is a Male the keeper bought from the far south of the world apparently. And from what I heard... Their skin is as black as charcoal."

Feldspar's eyes widened and he leaned back. "Such things exist?"

Clydesdale nodded eagerly. "I have yet to see them, but I really wanna see if it's true!"

"What does the keeper plan to do with such an unusual being?" Feldspar questioned.

Clydesdale shrugged. "I'm not sure. Maybe just a servant. I'm sure it's more for bragging rights than anything."

Feldspar narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. "A man with black skin... what an unusual treasure indeed."

"Oh! You must mean Tolken!" A woman suddenly chirped as she grabbed hold of Clydesdale's arm.

"Maria!" Clydesdale glanced to her disapprovingly. "This is a discussion between men, a woman like you should not intervene."

She pouted up at him and squeezed his arm gently. "But I got bored waiting for you." She whined. "And I couldn't help overhear you talk about the new slave."

Feldspar rose an eyebrow at her. "Slave?"

She glanced up before smiling gently. "The man of dark skin, you were talking about him correct? He's the new slave here. Keeper named him Tolken."

"He does not have one of his own?" Feldspar questioned.

Maria glanced up to him before giggling. "It appears he does not know how to speak." She answered simply. "I believe they call them mutes if I'm not mistaken. Keeper tried talking to him many times but the Male is either arrogant or slow. At first keeper thought he was being defiant so he beat him, but after the fourth beating, keeper seemed to suspect the man really didn't know how to talk. He's obedient and does his duties, so it is not as if he can't understand us, but whenever we try to make him speak he simply seems... sad."

Feldspar almost felt sorry for the Male. Not being able to speak... it must be rather lonely.

  
"Ah! Speaking of which!" She turned to the banister and smiled. "Tolken! These men wish to meet you! Come and let them see you!"

Clydesdale And Feldspar quickly turned their heads and could hardly believe what they saw before them.

The Male indeed was of a darker skin, but not so much a harsh black night sky dark as they had first thought. No. The man seemed very tall with a respectable amount of muscle covering his body. He wore surprisingly lavish clothes for a slave, albeit just a mere plain white cotton tunic top and dark bottoms.

The man immediately ignored his previous job and walked down the stairs, stopping just short of the two males and bowing his head politely.

He had long thick lashes and a defined chin, black tightly curled hair that seemed impossible to exist and a dark wooden brown eye colour. Truly, he felt otherworldly...

"Beautiful..." Clydesdale suddenly breathed out loud and the male paused before seeming to blush as he averted their gaze.

Even Feldspar had to admit, the man truly was quite pleasing to the eye. Had he been a woman, he was sure he'd become a favourite whore to the locals. "So you're the one called Tolken?" He questioned curiously, catching himself watching as the Male glanced up to meet his eyes before shyly looking away again and inclining his head politely.  
"I heard you came from afar, is that true?"

Once more the male met his eyes before inclining his head again with surprising elegance. He truly was beautiful...

"I think you came from the heavens." Clydesdale suddenly spoke up. "How else can you be so pretty?"

"Clydesdale..." Feldspar spoke up with a frown. "He is a man you know. Your words can be misconstrued as rude."

Clydesdale pouted And glanced to Feldspar with big doe eyes. "I never say words in insult! He just truly is pretty!"

Tolken seemed to be holding back a chuckle as he watched in bemusement. Glancing over to Clydesdale, he leaned forward and smiled as he placed a hand over his heart before placing his palm on Clydesdale's chest.

Clydesdale was of course confused until Maria let out a coo. "That's Tolken's way of expressing his fondness for someone." She explained to the males before smiling at Tolken again. "Sweet, isn't it?"

"He... Likes me?" Clydesdale questioned in confusion.

"He'd say different if he knew you." Feldspar deadpanned, earning a playful shove from Clydesdale.

Tolken chuckled and withdrew his hand before bowing again and turning on his heels as he left to return to his duties.

Feldspar watched him quietly before a smile curled up his lips. An interesting man he was indeed. However, his amusement was cut short when he happened to glance at the outside windows and saw the sun beginning to set. He cursed out loud before turning back towards the door.

"Feldspar? Where are you going?" Clydesdale asked his friend when he noticed his sudden haste.

"If you don't see me again, I thank you for being a good friend." Feldspar mumbled gently as he turned away and left before anymore questions could be raised. He hated seeing people he actually didn't hate before dangerous missions.

It made him feel a fear of failure which never usually crossed his mind once.

He was a good thief after all.

It was just... He didn't have the heart of one.

 

Dusk soon turned to a darkness so thick you could cut it with a blade. 'Twas the perfect night for thievery.

The grand wizard was waiting for the thief on the outskirts of the village, sitting atop a horse that seemed to barely deal with his weight, a tired expression and lowered eyes as it shifted uncomfortably.

"Calm yourself." The wizard mumbled as he pulled the reigns lightly, making the horse let out a small sound in protest before stilling his movements, and waiting for the reins to slacken again.

Feldspar held his tongue before glancing back up to the wizard. "If all goes well I'll have the stick to you by early dawn."

"For your sake you'd better." The wizard mumbled lowly. "Oh, but I'll know if you live or if you die, you belong to me now after all. So if it comes to dawn and you still aren't at the castle, punishments may be given." He turned and threw a small green stone towards Feldspar, who caught it with surprising ease.

He turned it over in his hands to inspect the object, which seemed like a piece of green glass that had been smoothed by rocks into a jade coloured pebble.

"What is this?" Feldspar asked as he glanced back to the larger Male.

"A call stone. If you have anything interesting to report just drop the stone into a body of water and  I'll be summoned." The wizard said nonchalantly.

"Something interesting?" Feldspar repeated curiously.

The wizard merely inclined his head. "Nobody has seen the stick for a long time after all. We just know the barbarians had it last in the records of old."

‘So I might be risking my life for nothing? Just peachy.’ Thought Feldspar.

"Best get a move on." The wizard warned. "The nights are becoming short as of late." With that final warning, the wizard nudged with his heels and urged the beast forward. The small brown horse let out a low breath before beginning a light trot back towards the palace, trying it's best to not jostle the wizard and his weight too much.

Feldspar watched the two turn into figures from afar before sighing and glancing towards the forest slowly. Time to risk life and limb for little reason or meaning. The thief adjusted his cloak over his head before silently sliding into the shadows, truly at one with the scenery and the darkness of the forest.

For what seemed like forever Feldspar cautiously made his way over tree roots and natural mossy rock paths, being careful not to lose his footing or injure himself in the process. If he was to sprain his ankle here, he might as well have personally put a noose around his neck.  
However, soon the moss grew thin and the thick tree roots started to ebb further and further apart from one another. The canopy above only allowed for a few trickles of moonlight through the thick leaves, but before him light shone upon a suspiciously wide clearing.

Feldspar made his way around the area slowly, until a shimmer of something pure white caught his eye on the trees. It was an unearthly white, pale and shining even though there was a lack of moonlight underneath the shaded trees. Feldspar glanced upon the curiosity again and had to hold back a gasp when he realised what the object truly was.

The opulent white was the pearlescent shine of a skull, clearly very old from how sun bleached the bones were, with dark hollowed out eye sockets and a jagged row of weathered old teeth.

Unfortunately, it wasn't just a skull.

In fact, the skull was just the beginning of a grizzly looking entire skeleton that was crudely tied together with rope and held upright with a wooden pike.

The only other thing that could have spelled the message clearer would be a sign that said 'death to all who enter' hung around the skeleton scarecrow. Or rather, scarehuman.

Feldspar grimaced at the poor bugger's remains before slowly continuing onwards, though definitely with more caution.

More and more scarehumans began showing up, tied to trees and strung up like puppets that rattled in the breeze with hollow clunks. It was such a barbaric act to hang up human remains as if they were decorations. These barbarians clearly didn't care much for the dead or appeasing souls so they could go into the afterlife, if they believed that at all anyway.

Feldspar ignored the creepy effigies and slowly emerged into a clearing where the ember glow of a fire could be seen nearby. In the not so far distance, huts made from wood and animal skins could be seen and even up in the trees were nest like houses with bridges connecting them all together.

It truly seemed as if there was this singular little tribe out in the middle of nowhere surviving entirely on their own.

"So the barbarians did survive..." Feldspar mumbled out loud before steeling himself and slipping further towards the buildings.

It seemed like there were not many people about, with only one man present at the fire who seemed to be more focused on cooking a hunk of meat on his stick than keeping lookout.

Seemed easy pickings for Feldspar.

But he knew he mustn't get cocky, for that was his downfall last time.

He glanced up towards the tree houses before slowly sliding his way over to the outermost hut, slinking along the shadows before glancing over to the guard. It was a young brown haired male with black face paint covering his cheeks with stripes and a band of black along his left arm. He had little more than a fur tied around his waist and shoulder and handmade fur boots around his feet.

Feldspar cautiously made his way around the camp, listening out for any movement inside the huts before slowly peeking in each one so that he could to see if there was anything of interest.

Finally, after skulking around for quite a while, he snuck into a particularly large hut and his eyes widened in shock.

The place was mostly empty, bar one stick in the centre of the floor that was lying on a lavish piece of woven silk. The barbarians must highly prize the thing if they had it lying on silk.

He slowly made his way over before grabbing the stick and stuffing it into three folds of his cloak before slinking back towards the exit.

It was only then did the guard decide to actually be a watch guard because he'd finished his morsel.

When feldspar tried to sneak out, the Male noticed the movement out of the corner of his eye and immediately sounded the alarm, shouting as he grabbed a nearby spear and rushed over in the direction of Feldspar.

Feldspar noticed the guard and cursed lowly before turning on his heels and making a Beeline for the shadows of the forest.

If he could lose them in the darkness, there was a good chance he'd manage to evade them before the chase even fully began.

But there was one thing he didn't account for.

A messy blonde haired barbarian slamming into him from above and pinning him down to the floor with a dagger against his throat.

The Male let out a feral growl before narrowing his eyes at Feldspar.

The thief didn't know how to react, the Male was not that big, spry would be a good way to describe him. Spry and lithe. So getting knocked for two by him had Feldspar tongue tied.

More and more barbarians began to gather around and feldspar remembered his peril.

This was it. Game over.

He'd lost his life with that one stupid mistake.

A barbarian grinned and leaned forward to grab Feldspar's chin and bent down to look at him. It was the guard from before who had a sickening look of almost hunger on his face.

He licked his lips and let out a sigh, the rotting smell of meat fresh on his breath and it almost made Feldspar gag. He leaned down further and Feldspar felt teeth against his ear, then pressure as the man's teeth clamped down on his lobe.

Feldspar let out a hiss and tried to prepare himself for the worst, but the sound of ripping and the gushing of blood didn't come. In fact, not even pain.

He slowly opened his eyes and noticed the guard now hunched over and cradling a bloodied nose with a whimper in his voice. All the other barbarians seemed shocked as they glanced over to the blonde Male still pinning Feldspar down, who was growling at anyone who was trying to get close and had blood smeared on one of his knuckles.

"You... saved me?" Feldspar asked the blonde Male incredulously, earning his attention as he snapped his head down to look at Feldspar.

His ocean blue eyes glanced over the man curiously, even leaning forward and sniffing at him like a dog for a moment while Feldspar could only hold still and stare back at him curiously.

After what seemed like a while the blonde haired male suddenly smiled before leaning forward and nuzzling against Feldspar's neck with a cat-like purr.

"Um...?" Feldspar trailed off, glancing around at the other barbarians as if to try and understand what on Earth the blonde was doing.

All the other barbarians seemed shocked, muttering amongst themselves in words Feldspar didn't understand before backing off and lowering their weapons, albeit hesitantly.

Feldspar didn't understand what was going on and even noticed the male that was currently nuzzling up into him had put his weapon away for now.

Maybe he still had a chance to escape?

In one last ditch effort he shoved the Male off him before rushing to his feet and racing off into the forest, not once looking back to know the barbarians were on his trail.

Unfortunately, Feldspar didn't manage to evade them because as he was weaving through the trees and climbing up rocks, he lost his grip on a particularly mossy rock and slipped, catching his leg in a tree root on the way and doubling over in pain at the white hot fire sensation that was quickly seeping up through his leg.

He heard a voice behind him and gritted his teeth in bitterness.

What a sorry situation to be in, lying there like a rabbit caught in a snare.

He'd expected a spear in the back, but instead, two arms lifted his head up to see the face of that blonde male again. His eyes were worried as he glanced over him, noticing his ankle before jittering fast paced nonsense as he carefully did his best to cut him free from the tree root using his dagger.

He cut him loose before cupping Feldspar’s cheeks with both his hands and leaning forward to press his forehead against his gently.

Then, with crystal clear clarification, he uttered the one word Feldspar did understand.

"Mate."


	3. Chapter 3

Feldspar was beyond perplexed that night, barely even fighting as the blonde male slung him over his shoulder and casually walked back towards the camp again.

'Mate?' Feldspar repeated the word in his head, playing on a loop repeatedly as he tried to make sense of what the man might have meant.

The barbarian carried him all the way back to the camp and slinked into one of the biggest huts, decorated with a deer skull on the front and rural etchings in the wooden posts.

Totally not a creepy cult like thing to do at all.

The barbarian said nothing as he slung Feldspar onto the bed, barely giving him a moment to compose himself before he was upon him again, grabbing both of his arms with his hand as he pushed him down.

Feldspar had to admit he'd never been pinned before, especially not by a man, so he couldn't help but feel terribly strange about this sudden situation. "Um..." He trailed off as he glanced at the the barbarian's body, noticing how his chest heaved so heavily for such a little frame, how his skin was littered with tiny white cuts and bumps where he must have been hurt before now, and how his black body paint was seeming to smudge from the sweat gathering on his body.

Feldspar was not sure what to say. What even could he say

Then, the barbarian spoke again. "Mate." He mumbled gently as his eyes visibly softened. "Pain?" He asked as he gestured to his leg. The one Feldspar had twisted in the tree roots as he tried to run away.

Feldspar titled his head before managing to catch on to what the blonde was talking about. "Is my leg painful? Well, yes I guess. It's a dull throb, so I think I may have twisted it." He said back softly.

The barbarian paused, watching Feldspar and his lips intently, his eyebrows furrowing in a sort of concentration. He seemed to repeat the words in a sort of mumble of his own, copying Feldspar's words before leaning back and sighing. He stood, turned and moved to a ceramic pot in the corner of the room, bending down and lifting the lid as he put his hand in the pot and turned back to Feldspar with a weird amber coloured gel in his palm.

"What the hell is that?" Feldspar deadpanned at the viscous liquid with a raised eyebrow.

The other male said nothing and simply walked towards him again, sitting back down on the bed and grabbing Feldspar's leg, making him wince in pain.

The barbarian removed his boot before sighing at the nasty looking redness of Feldspar's ankle, mumbling something in a foreign tongue before gently sweeping the weird gel around Feldspar's ankle. The area was still tender and sore so of course Feldspar let out a hiss of pain and scrunched his eyes up, his leg pulling away on reflex.

The barbarian narrowed his eyes and glared up at Feldspar, shaking his head in disapproval before beginning  to massage the area rhythmically.

"Shit..!" Craig cursed lowly before sitting upright and pulling away from him. "That hurts you know!"

The barbarian blinked in surprise for a moment before scowling at him. He seemed to shout back at him in his own tongue before gesturing to his ankle pointedly.

"Yes I know it's injured! That's why it hurts you barbarian!" Feldspar snapped back with little fear.

The blonde leaned back in shock before tilting his head, as if finding his retorts puzzling. He glanced back to his ankle one more time before sighing, standing upright and turning to walk towards the exit.

"Wait... where are you going?" Feldspar questioned as he stared back to the Male in confusion. "You're not going to just leave me here are you?"

The male paused before sighing and shaking his head. muttered something under his breath once more before leaving without so much as a second glance.

"Well that's just plain rude!" Feldspar huffed before glancing at his ankle, glaring at the red swelling before pausing for a moment. He tested his ankle by attempting to turn it side to side slowly, hesitating for fear of making it worse. He managed a quarter degree turn before the stinging pain began again. Still, it was noticeably better than before.  
Was that barbarian trying to help him?

Feldspar has to shake the thought from his head. He highly doubted these savages would actually care about anyone outside of their kin. One of them had tried to bite his ear off for Christ's sake!

Still... Feldspar hesitated as he glanced back to the entrance to the hut quietly. That blonde one had saved his life, there was no denying that. So what had made him do so? What did he mean by mate?

He sighed before leaning back and relaxing, figuring there wasn't much else he could do right now.

His eyes tiredly glanced over the room he was in, noticing how everything had a simplistic feel to it, with hand crafted pots in the corner of the room and the very bed Feldspar was lying on seemingly little more than hay or some other type of grass covered in furs. Judging by the colour and density of the pelt, Feldspar was certain it was that of a bears. In fact, there seemed to be a lot of predator pelts in the room.  
Just how did these people manage to take on bears and live to tell the tale?

He sighed and slowly began to rub his temples in thought.

What could he do, no, what /should/ he do in this situation?

He'd been kidnapped by barbarians while trying to steal a measly stick for a fat wizard that had cursed him should he disobey.

... Thinking it out loud only made it feel more ludicrous to him.  
After a quiet conversation with himself as he mulled over possibilities, the blonde male returned. This time, with a plate piled high with meat and root vegetables accompanied by a jug of water.

He glanced at Feldspar for a moment before a smile seemed to curl up his lips. He walked over to him and took a seat on the bed, sitting opposite to the thief with a bright expression. He pushed the plate of food towards Feldspar and hummed lightly, a sort of shining childish eagerness in his eyes.

"This... This is for me?" He asked softly as he glanced up to the blonde incredulously. Prisoners either got treated really well by barbarians or they didn't know the meaning of portion sizes.

The male let out another hum under his breath before pushing the plate of food closer to Feldspar pointedly.

"Well... Thanks I guess." He said back softly before hesitantly grabbing one of the potatoes and nibbling on it gently.

This seemed to please the barbarian greatly as his eyes shone like a child while he nodded his head in a sort of eagerness.

He watched Feldspar for a moment, following his hand like a dog begging for scraps would as he watched Feldspar take a piece of meat, then following the morsel all the way to Feldspar's lips before seeming to finally relax and lean against Feldspar's shoulder, purring like a cat contentedly.

"... What are you doing?" Feldspar asked him curiously as he watched his movements, looking down at the blonde on his arm with a completely puzzled expression.

The blonde glanced up at him before smiling brightly and continuing to nuzzle his side.

"Okay," Feldspar deadpanned before putting his plate down and prying the male off him before turning to face him, holding him in place by his shoulders as he stared down into some of the bluest eyes he had ever seen. "Just what the hell is going on and what are you doing?"

The barbarian stared back at him blankly before narrowing his eyes while looking down.

Feldspar let out a small sigh of frustration. "Of course, you can't understand me." He mumbled in defeat before letting him go while glancing away. "It sounds like you speak nothing but gibberish anyway. What the hell am I even doing? It would have been better to just have been ripped apart by you all earlier, because now I have no idea what you want me for. The gel before, are you trying to help me? And the food? Why not try and torture me to figure out who sent me here? I mean... if you can't understand me you won't know if I'll talk or not either way, but even that makes more sense than what's going on right now."

The barbarian glanced back up at him and the sharp look made Feldspar want to shrink back.

Silently, the blonde leaned back and pressed a hand to his own chest. "Tweek." He said before patting his chest. He leaned forward and pressed the palm of his hand against Feldspars chest.

Feldspar was puzzled for a moment before frowning. "What?"

The blonde let out a frustrated sound before thumping against his chest pointedly. "Tweek." He repeated again before repeating the process of returning his hand to Feldspar's chest.

"... Tweek? Is that your name?" The thief asked suddenly, seeming to connect the dots.

The barbarian, presumably Tweek seemed to nod before tapping against Feldspar's chest again.  
"Oh um, Feldspar." He said back awkwardly.

Tweek seemed to smile before leaning away and tapping his chest. "Tweek." He leaned forward to Feldspar and glanced up to him. "Umfeldspar."

"Wait, no no no." Feldspar said quickly as he shook his head. "Just Feldspar."

Tweek glanced up to him and his eyes narrowed in confusion.  
Feldspar noticed the look before sighing in defeat as he tapped his chest on his own. "Feldspar."

"F... Feldspar." Tweek repeated before tilting his head up to the thief, as if testing if he'd said it right.

Feldspar smiled before nodding warmly. "That's it. Feldspar."

Tweek beamed back at him and Feldspar couldn't help but feel his own lips curl upwards into a smile as well. Seeing such a scary and intimidating warrior act like an excited puppy had such a charming aspect somehow. It made Feldspar almost feel relaxed around him.

“You know, you're not that bad for a barbarian." Feldspar smiled back at him.

Tweek didn't seem to pay attention- not that he could understand after all - and just moved to cuddle up against Feldspar again, wrapping his arms around his waist and once again purring.

Feldspar was quickly gathering that these barbarians were a peculiar lot. They were definitely more affectionate than he'd pegged them to be initially.  
You don't tend to think the words 'barbarian' and 'affectionate' would ever be said in the same breath, strangely enough.

Suddenly, the furs at the front of the hut were pulled back and another barbarian entered the room.

Feldspar was sure he recognised him as the one who'd tried to take a bite out of him and couldn't help but tense and shift away from the male.

Tweek seemed annoyed that his pillow was moving and looked up to see what the cause was, immediately noticing the new male in the room and narrowing his eyes at him while he sat up straight.

The brunette barbarian definitely still seemed worse for wear. The tribal paint he had across the bridge of his nose was smeared with blood and smudged from someone having to look at the damage Tweek had done.  
Feldspar would be surprised if Tweek hadn't broke his nose in all honesty. It was all bent to the side and almost squashed against his face.

Then again, they were called barbarians for a reason.

Tweek questioned the male in an aggravated tone, turning to face him fully while the other male lowered his head and averted his gaze.

Feldspar felt they acted like wolves, wherein they spoke more with their bodies rather than with words. The brown haired barbarian was keeping his head down, avoiding Tweek's gaze as often as he could and something seemed to click inside Feldspar's head.

'Tweek's the leader' he thought as he glanced over to the blonde in surprise.

Tweek seemed to notice his gaze from out the corner of his eyes and turned to him curiously, tilting his head as if you question what was wrong.

Now, Feldspar had nothing against Tweek. He certainly seemed to be very capable of taking care of himself. But, he just didn't quite seem the type of person to lead per se.

He was small and not exactly a big bruiser. Young too in comparison to the other faces he'd managed to glance at when almost being faced with death.  
So the realisation that he might be the alpha was quite surprising to say the least.

‘Wait, this could work.' Feldspar realised suddenly. 'He seems to have some sort of favour for me. If I play my cards right I could still run out of here with the stick scott free.'

It was a risk, but what else did he have to lose?

Tweek rose an eyebrow at him and leaned forward into Feldspar's face. He let out a short sound in his curious language and moved to grab his shoulder to shake him lightly.

Feldspar snapped back to his attention, looking back to Tweek and smiling lightly. Tweek seemed to like affection, so Feldspar tried to follow suit. He leaned forward and swept his hand across Tweek's hair, finding himself surprised at how soft it was considering how messy and unruly it seemed and Tweek immediately responded by flushing and withdrawing from his hand, a small blush beginning to spread over the bridge of his nose and across his cheeks.  
Feldspar paused before beginning to smile.

A blushing barbarian... How cute.

The guard must have sensed the growing tension in the air, realising he was being ignored by the two and quickly cleared his throat so that Tweek would snap his attention back to him. Tweek did indeed divert his attention to the other male, shaking his blushing away and instead replacing it with an annoyed expression.

Feldspar watched the two speak, noticing with shifts in tone and the seemingly growing urgency of their words, sensing how the mood had quickly shifted into a serious one. He'd figured he'd best not intrude if he wanted to stay in the barbarian's good books and it was a good job he did.

Without much warning Tweek stood up from the bed, eyes narrowed and serious as he hastened to follow after the other male out of the room.

He hesitated before he left, glancing back to Feldspar for a moment with sad eyes, shaking his head and glancing away before finally leaving.

There was something so melancholy about how he'd looked that made Feldspar almost feel bad. He glanced away and let out a deep sigh, eyes closed before opening his eyes as he remembered: The stick!

He sat up properly and felt through his pockets frantically, but he couldn't feel anything.

Even his usual supplies and weapons were nowhere to be felt. Had Tweek managed to strip him of his items that quickly? Because if so, that was impressive even by thieving standards. He didn't even notice.

He let out a sigh and leaned back on the bed, closing his eyes and letting his body finally relax. He hadn't realised how exhausted he was until the adrenaline he had built up began to ebb away. When was the last time he'd laid down in a comfy bed?

With that bounty on his head across the kingdom he'd resorted to sleeping rough for months. He'd only ended up heading into town after days of not managing to catch anything in the woods. But of course, with such a bounty of so much gold on his head, it wasn't long before he got recognised. Feldspar might have been an infamous thief, but infamy doesn't help you escape thirty guards coming at you from every angle.

But oh this bed...

He smiled and turned to snuggle into the soft fur underneath him, surprised to find such a sweet smell on it. Had a woman been here recently...? It was such a calming scent... Not nearly as sickly as the concentrated smell those women at whore houses had from crushing flowers with water and dabbing it on their skins. It was more like... like being in an actual flower field.

It would be alright if he just fell asleep for a few minutes right?

He twisted his cape around him comfortably and nestled into the warmth, smiling in relaxation. Barbarians sure knew comfort.

He’ll get the stick back later, there wasn’t a rush after all.

Before he could let out another sigh, he slipped into the land of nod.

 

‘I warned you. Didn’t I?’ The grand wizard’s voice mumbled into darkness. ‘I said to get the stick by nightfall. And where are you? Not here.’

Feldspar glanced up and saw the fat male sitting on a massive cushion, stabbing his fork into a plate in front of him that was piled high with jellied eels. He sucked one down whole with a sickening pop, chewing and swallowing after multiple crunching sounds.

‘I’m disappointed, I thought you’d be more obedient than that. Turns out you’re as bad as a stray mutt. No wonder you’re a pitiful thief.’ He mumbled as he picked at his teeth.

Feldspar narrowed his eyes at him. ‘You’re here in dreams now?’

‘Of course, I own you. Nothing you have doesn’t belong to me now. Not even your self conscious.’ The wizard smiled before twisting his fingers as a dark chain began to manifest around his wrist, snaking it’s way across the darkness and straight towards Feldspar.

He tried to run, but the darkness around him never seemed to move and quickly, he felt iron wrap around his neck.

‘You need to be punished puppy.’ The wizard purred and yanked back on the chain harshly, pulling Feldspar back to him and cutting off his air.

He coughed violently at the feet of the grand wizard, struggling to get his breath even again.

‘Damn you...’

‘Oh I love seeing that face~ a proud thief, laying at my feet, in utter mercy... If you were a woman it’d be perfect.’ He chuckled and moved his foot underneath his chin to make him look up.

‘You’re a sick fuck.’ Feldspar snarled in disgust.

‘Maybe I am, or maybe you’re the sick fuck here. You’re panting like you enjoy getting strangled. Do you like being treated like a whore?’ He rose an eyebrow at him.

‘You’re a demented man. When I get free of this god forsaken curse I am going to slit your fucking throat while you sleep. Princess Kendra deserves her crown.’ He hissed.

The wizard laughed loudly. ‘I look forward to that, filthy mutt.’ He mused down at Feldspar. ‘But enough with the japes, I really do need to punish you.’

Feldspar felt his skin begin to burn again. That white hot searing pain began crawling across his neck enough to make him collapse. He clawed at his neck desperately, writhing in deranged pain and letting out strangled cries.

‘You sound like a cat in heat.’ The wizard jeered.

‘Wait...!’ Feldspar begged. ‘Ba...bari...ans... stick... le...ader...’

‘Hm? What are you trying to say mangy mongrel?’

‘In... bar...ian... to...wn... kno...w... stick... h...ere...’

The wizard sighed. ‘You’re impossible to understand when you’re being tortured...’ He complained loudly before letting go of the chains reluctantly. ‘I grow weary of this. Dream eel isn’t half as tasty as the real thing.’ He snapped his fingers and immediately the pain that wracked Feldspars body vanished completely, leaving him laying on the floor gasping for air and shivering weakly.

‘Explain yourself when you wake up. You kept that stone I gave you I hope?’ The wizard glanced over to him and smirked at the pitiful sight. ‘Better wake up soon, otherwise you might wake up in a pool of your own vomit.’ He warned lightly, before turning and quickly disappearing into the darkness.

 

 

Feldspar woke up with his throat aflame. He sat up hesitantly and moved his hand to hold his neck, his eyes widening as he noticed the mark appeared to have grown. Before it felt like a small red flower, but now he swore he could feel twisted vines at the base of the flower.

Was this curse slowly eating away at him?

He curled his hands up into fists and glared down at his lap, feeling shame prick at the corners of his eyes.

No.

He couldn’t allow the wizard to make him cry. He was a god damn man already.

He just needed to wash his face and get some fresh air.

Hesitantly, he stood up and glanced to his leg warily, being careful not to put too much pressure on his injury before slowly walking out to the exit of the hut.

He came face to face with a guard, whom shouted and began to push him back into the hut.

“I know, I just need to wash my face.” Feldspar mumbled back tiredly to the guard.

He shouted again and jabbed the blunt of his spear against his rib in warning, making Feldspar wince.

“I need to clean myself you primitive monkey!” Feldspar snapped back. “Jab that against me again and I’ll shove it up your ass!”

The guard seemed shocked he snapped back, hesitating for a moment.

“Tweek will understand, put the spear down and let me wash my face.” Feldspar sighed, trying to even his temper again and remember where he was. “Look, just... bathe?” He imitated washing his arms as he looked at the man. “Clean?”

“Feldspar?” A familiar tone said from around the corner and Feldspar paused at the voice.

Tweek appeared from around the corner with two guards by his side, raising an eyebrow at him playfully with a small smile.

God what a cutie...

Feldspar remembered what he was doing, realising he was still enacting his feeble attempt at some sort of charades and was hunched over holding his arms to his chest.

“Tweek.” He smiled back awkwardly, standing upright and turning to the blonde. “I was just going to...” He trailed off. Why was he still trying to talk to him as if he knew what he was saying? “Um... wash?” He tried to explain again, imitating cleaning himself to the male with a growing feel of embarrassment on his face.

Tweek watched intently, narrowing his eyes as he tried to decode the mysterious dance Feldspar was doing, tilting his head patiently.

After more time than Feldspar was comfortable with, Tweek seemed to catch on. “Irur!” He exclaimed with a bright smile. He nodded his head vigorously and waved the guard at the hut entrance off. He said something to the man on his right and the male hesitantly inclined his head and walked off.

Tweek walked up close to Craig and smiled fondly at him, surprising Feldspar by how much shorter he was. About half a head or so in height difference, and yet Tweek had the bravado to reach up and cup his cheek. He mumbled something softly, something kind, and Feldspar immediately felt glad to have met the blonde. He hadn’t realised he’d needed this kindness for a long time.

Soon the guard returned, with a woman in tow.

She had surprisingly neat hair, braided with bright feathers that mixed well with her honey coloured locks. Like the male barbarians, her clothing was minimal, but she was also covered head to toe in tribal paint. And her muscles could put a strong man to shame.

Tweek smiled and leaned away from Feldspar and glanced to the woman. “Shiva.” He introduced lightly. “Shiva. Irur.” He said, imitating Feldspars previous attempt at charades with cleaning himself.

Feldspar nodded his head slowly. “She’ll show me where to get clean?” He guessed lightly.

Tweek smiled and pushed at the small of Feldspar’s back, pushing him towards Shiva.

Feldspar couldn’t help but chuckle. “Alright alright, I’m going.” He mused, carefully limping to the woman who was patiently smiling at him and gesturing over her shoulder. “Thank you Tweek.” He said, knowing he wouldn’t understand, but feeling the need to say it regardless.  
Tweek simply smiled back and watched him go for a while, before turning back to the other males and continuing on with whatever previous engagement he had with them.

‘ **Well this is no good. Fate brought them together but they can’t advance towards their destiny if they don’t understand what the other is saying!  
I may have to just intervene just a little~  
It’s for the good of the world after all, not just for their desires.’  
** Feldspar was going to be taking a long bath.


	4. Chapter 4

Feldspar was grateful Shiva didn't insist on watching him while he bathed. If it could be called bathing at least. Turns out the barbarians idea of bathing was a deep river that flowed through the forest, just above freezing to the touch. What to expect of an underdeveloped village in the middle of the woods was certainly not a bath and heated water, but a river, really?

Feldspar sighed before glancing back to the female barbarian with a gentle smile. "Thanks." He said back gently as Shiva simply smiled back and inclined her head, turning to walk just out of sight.

Feldspar made sure of this before relaxing muscles he didn't know he'd tensed, glancing down at his clothes before slowly taking them off his person. He went down to his underwear and steeled himself to head into the freezing river, being mindful of his still sensitive ankle in the process.

As he'd feared, it was freezing. Feldspar felt a shiver run up his spine at how cold it was.

"Fuccckkk..." He hissed under his breath, sliding into the water and immediately regretting it. God it was cold! And barbarians did this regularly? Sheesh. Feldspar would never take a bath for granted again. Even when he was on the run he'd managed to find warmer waters than this. Travelling further out of Kupa Keep meant his infamy was lesser known as well, so he'd never had to go to such extremes like this before.

Slowly, his body began to adjust and Feldspar sighed in relief. It still felt rather fresh, but at least he could move about in the waters now. He cupped his hand under the water and splashed it over his face, shaking his head immediately afterwards as a natural response to the cold waters. He let out a small gasp before smiling and letting out a sigh. A bath like this was a good idea. He needed to clear his head after all that had gone down with that damned wizard in the dream. Feldspar frowned at the memory, one hand rising up to rub at his neck slowly. It might've sounded crazy, but he swore he could still feel the metal of that shackle on his skin. That wizard was pure dangerous. Nothing had seemed alright since princess Kendra's parents had died in the Great War ten years prior. Those elves...

The only useful thing about that wizard was the fact that he'd managed to keep those elves back from the boarder which gave the kingdom time to rebuild. But... The elves had never hinted at hostility towards Kupa Keep prior.

One had to wonder.

Feldspar sighed. What did he know about politics anyway? Maybe there was secret hostility and a coup wasn't far off from happening regardless.

He glanced down at the water only to furrow his brows in confusion. Strange, his reflection was looking suspiciously like a female-

His legs were suddenly yanked out from underneath him and his head sank under the water. He kicked and fought to reach the surface again but the surface only seemed further and further away the more he tried to reach it.

"Oh relax, I'm not trying hurt you." A decidedly feminine voice seemed to echo in his head.

Feldspar struggled to find the owner, holding his breath as he desperately flailed around under the water.

"You can breathe. I know you humans need air to survive, so I made an air bubble for you."

Feldspar couldn't understand how he could hear someone so clearly underwater, and he clearly doubted whether or not he could actually trust the voice. Whoever owned it was the one who'd dragged him down after all, but then again... Wouldn't they have tried to do worse now that he actually was underwater?

Before he could pick an answer, his lungs decided to do the trusting for him, forcing Feldspar to open his airways and inhale more oxygen. Which, to Feldspars surprise, was indeed oxygen. He opened his eyes and shocked himself by being in what he could only describe as 'bubble armour'. As in he glanced down at his hands and realised there was a thin bubble coating his body from the water, looking down at himself and realising he actually wasn't wet at all. The bubble surrounding him was completely protecting him from the water, much to his amazement.

"Ahh~ you humans are so easily amused~" that voice chuckled again before a beautiful woman with long flowing black hair and a purple fish tail swam up to him.

Feldspar was hesitant to believe what he was seeing. A... A mermaid? In a freshwater river? He thought those creatures only existed out in the sea, if at all. "You're..."

"Beautiful? I know." She half joked as she took her time lazily swimming around the Male.

"No, I mean... You're a mermaid right?" Feldspar asked curiously, making the girl pause only to frown back at him.

"I'm the spirit of the lake you cheeky human! What having a tail makes me a fish girl?! How rude!" She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest in annoyance.

"Aren't you?" Feldspar asked back blankly.

"No! I have other forms you heathen!" She snapped back, scowling at him with the sharpness of a knife.

"Why not use another form if you didn't want me to mistake you for a mermaid?" Feldspar returned back curiously.

"Cause I prefer this one, now stop being so rude to a spirit will you?" She shook her head in disproval. "And here I thought I'd try and help you understand those barbarians... Maybe I should just pop that bubble suit and leave you be..."

Feldspar paused at the sudden information. "Wait! No please don't!" He said back quickly. "I'm listening!"

The woman glanced back to him before tilting her head and suddenly smiling. "Don't worry, I'm not that mad at you. You're just a curious human is all. I bet you haven't actually seen the sea before right?"

Feldspar hesitated before glancing away. "No... I've only ever heard stories about it." He admitted back honestly.

She cooed in response before swimming close to his bubble, her hair swaying everywhere under the water. "My name's Wendalyn.Water spirit of Starks' River."

"Feldspar, thief of... Things." He returned back awkwardly as Wendalyn laughed again.

"You do amuse me." She beamed back. "I knew you'd get along with Tweek as soon as I saw you! And he seems to like you too!"

'A little too much if you ask me.' Feldspar returned back internally before sighing and glancing away. "Though of course the language barrier makes it harder to talk to him about... Personal boundaries."

"Awh hush, the barbarians are just like that with everyone. They're really tactile people as a community." Wendalyn scolded him lightly.

"You do surprise me." Feldspar said back gently. "Our culture is definitely far more reserved about things like hugs. Though I'd say they'd definitely get along with someone I know." Clydesdale was a hugger too.

"I say embrace the hugs." Wendalyn smiled back. "He's chosen you after all."

Feldspar glanced back to her in confusion. "Meaning...?"

"Well, he's picked you as his mate." She giggled back in bemusement.

"I heard Tweek mumble that word before too, but surely it doesn't mean what it means in animal terminology?" Feldspar asked back lightly. "I mean... we're both Male."

Wendalyn smiled back with an almost sympathetic expression. "Well," she paused before shaking her head. "Let's not focus on that shall we? You still need to talk to him. You need something from them, don't you? That's why you're here."

Feldspar was about to respond to the previous question before the new one posed halted him in his tracks. He gritted his teeth and looked away.

"It's alright." She reassured him. "You have your reasons. Though it probably has something to do with that nasty mark around your neck."

Feldspar slapped his hand over his mark on reflex, scowling even more at the memory of how it got there.

Wendalyn frowned softly and bent her head down to meet his gaze. "That's some powerful dark magic you have on you. A parasitic one if I'm not mistaken. One that can't be removed without the original caster reversing the spell. Nasty stuff."

"You don't need to tell me." Craig mumbled back in mild annoyance. "That damned wizard..."

Wendalyn frowned softly before leaning away, clearing her throat. "The barbarians aren't as vicious as people think they are. People never try to understand them and only treat them like animals, so animals they become. Underneath that harsh exterior they're actually very sweet people. If you explain your situation, I'm sure they could be convinced to give you whatever you need." It was clear Wendalyn had been around these people a long time to draw up such conclusions on the barbarians. No sane person would say such a thing about people who'd skinned and even ate others.

"You're strangely very trusting." Feldspar mumbled. "What if I was to wish harm on the barbarians?"

"You would have brought an army." Wendalyn replied cooly. "One thief against a tribe of barbarians? Surely you're not that stupid."

Feldspar opened his mouth to answer, but quickly closed it. What could he say in return to that? She had a point after all. What kinda idiot would try to storm a barbarian stronghold alone with no weapon other than a dagger?

It was...

It was beyond stupidity.

"Fair play to you." Feldspar replied back before daring to smile at the... Whatever Wendalyn was. “Okay... So if you trust me... I have to ask... why did you bring me down into the river to talk with you? You mentioned helping me understand the barbarians... How?”

Wendalyn paused before turning to smile at him warmly. “By giving you the gift of the flower tongue.”

“Flower tongue?” Feldspar repeated in confusion.

“It’s a gift spirits can give to humans to help them understand any language.”

“How would spirits know every language?” Feldspar tilted his head curiously.

“Because every language in the world has come from the spirits originally. You changed a few vowels and added some weird growl like sounds, but it’s still the language the spirits use deep down.”

Feldspar tilted his head, still a little doubtful over such an explanation, but a lot of things had happened today that he didn’t think were possible, so it wasn’t the most unbelievable thing to hear. At least not today. Hell, he’d met a mermaid- water spirit- something ethereal and was currently underwater yet completely capable of breathing because of some ‘bubble armour’ surrounding him.

“How would you be able to do it?” He asked her, just proving how nosey he could be at times.

“I’m getting to that, have a bit of patience you.” Wendalyn said, amusement clear in her eyes. “Something in me thinks you should have probably been a scholar rather than a thief.”

“Didn’t have a rich background to afford tuition. Peasants very rarely get to become anything more than peasants.” Feldspar shrugged back nonchalantly.

“Let me guess... A rebel too huh?” Wendalyn smiled. “Didn’t like the idea of working just to survive until you died?”

“Pretty much. If I were to die a thief, at least I’d have something that people would remember me by. Nobody remembers the village baker or the blacksmith. You’re no better than a dog. We all bleed red in the end after all...”

Wendalyn nodded her head thoughtfully before sighing. “You have such a bleak outlook on life... How sad that this is the norm among you humans. I’ve even seen Tweek come down to the river alone and scream his frustrations about the bleakness and fragility of life many a time. Why do you all fear death so much? Isn’t the best part of being human being able to live and die? All I do is exist.”

Feldspar shrugged. “I guess... It’s the uncertainty? What happens when we die? Where do we go?”

“What does it matter? You’ll be dead. You won’t exist anymore.” Wendalyn returned bluntly.

“That idea scares some people.” Feldspar pointed out before going quiet. “We went on a tangent, you were talking about the flower tongue?”

“Hm? Oh yes! How silly of me!” Wendalyn broke into a smile before swimming closer to him. “All you have to do is stick your tongue out.” Feldspar tilted his head at her in confusion, clearly doubting and frankly rather weirded out, but he had no reason to argue. Instead, he simply sighed and stuck his tongue out for her. “That’s it.” Wendalyn smiled warmly before leaning close as one of her fingers began to glow a sparkling blue. She reached out and pressed the shining finger against his tongue.

Feldspar could confidently say this was the weirdest shit a girl had ever done to him.

A weird tingling sensation came over his tongue and Feldspar felt as if something like a hard stone slid down his throat and settling into his stomach with a warm sensation. He closed his eyes on instinct and tried to cough up the foreign object, gasping in discomfort.

“Wendalyn did you shove a rock in my mouth?!” He coughed, opening his eyes to scowl at the water spirit, except - he was no longer in the water. Now instead he was on the river bank with his clothes resting next to him where he’d remembered he’d left them. “Did... Did I just imagine that?” Feldspar mumbled to himself as he leaned over the bank to stare into the water, looking for the familiar face of Wendalyn grinning back at him.

But he saw nothing. Not even a trace of the water spirit.

All he saw was a deep river and the pebbles on the riverbed. No water spirit, no bubble armour... no weird glowing fingers... just a river.

“Hah... I really must be going crazy.” Feldspar laughed weakly as he clutched his head, swallowing thickly as he tried to ignore the weird sensation in his throat. Perhaps he just swallowed some river water as he was getting out... which he did not remember doing. “Yep. Definitely going crazy.” He sighed before standing up, grabbing his clothes and slowly beginning to put them on again. He was just putting his tunic back on as he heard a gasp from around the corner. Feldspar turned around curiously as he saw Tweek smiling over at him, glancing down before meeting his eyes again.

“Oh, it’s just you...” Feldspar smiled before grabbing his belt. “I thought it was something else, like a bear or something. Though considering all those bear furs you have in your room, I doubt they’d come near the camp now huh?”

Tweek was quiet for a moment before he shifted and moved to walk close to him, suddenly grabbing his waist.

Feldspar let out a gasp in surprise before glancing down at the barbarian in embarrassment. He was about to tell the barbarian to knock it off before the barbarian suddenly spoke up.

“I’m glad I was the one who came to collect you. If anyone else saw you like that I would’ve scratched their eyes out.” He said back lowly.

Feldspar had to do a double take. “E-excuse me?” He said slowly before glancing down at Tweek. “What did you just say...?”

Tweek paused for a moment before glancing up at him. “You can understand me?” He asked suddenly.

Feldspar could only stare at him as he slowly nodded his head in response.

The barbarian was still for a moment before a blush suddenly formed over his cheeks and he let out a frustrated sound. “You can understand me?! And you’ve been listening to all the embarrassing things I’ve said about you?! Oh my GOD!” Tweek looked like he could’ve died of embarrassment as he clutched his head and tugged at his hair. He suddenly glared up at Feldspar. “Do you like making a fool of me? Playing dumb until now? Were you trying to piss me off?” He growled before grabbing Feldspar’s chin in a tight grip.

“No! I really didn’t know what you were saying before!” Feldspar said back quickly, holding his hands up in surrender.

“And now you suddenly can?” Tweek rose his eyebrow at him.

“I swear! All I know is that I went to have a bath in the river, something went in my mouth and now I can understand you!” He omitted mentioning Wendalyn though, just in case that would be a little too crazy for the barbarian to believe. He didn’t really believe it had actually happened to himself in all honesty.

Tweek narrowed his eyes as he glanced over his face, as if searching for the lie in his words. He squeezed Feldspar’s cheeks and forced the male to open his mouth and tried to find this item that had made him capable of speaking to him. When he couldn’t see anything, Tweek sighed and let go of his cheeks. “It’s a good job you’re cute.” He mumbled lowly. “I’ll believe you, for now.”

Feldspar rubbed his cheeks and glanced down at the barbarian. “How kind...” He mumbled before glancing away. “What’s with calling me cute though?”

“Is there a problem with that?” Tweek asked back with a raised eyebrow. “You’re cute. It’s why I didn’t let Aran eat you. That and the fact that eating people is kinda gross. But it was mostly because you’re cute.”

“Yes but...” Feldspar trailed off. Did Tweek not know he’s a guy?

“I felt a weird sensation when I saw you. I’ve never felt that way about anyone before.” Tweek said with such a sincereness in his eyes.

“... I see...” Feldspar said back slowly, feeling rather awkward all of a sudden. Is this how girls felt when men suddenly advanced on them? How uncomfortable.

“So I’m going to do anything to make you fall for me too.” Tweek added bluntly. “Because you’re mine, Feldspar. Nobody else’s.”

Feldspar had absolutely no words to reply to the barbarian, deciding it was probably smarter to not upset him. Yeah... if Tweek thought he was a girl and was only keeping him alive cause he fancied him... it would probably be better not to burst his bubble.

“O... okay.” Feldspar said back dumbly, only just realising just how deep he was into this already.

His life was slowly going from bad to worse with each passing moment.

Whatever could top this?


End file.
